Jump to: The Inner Critic in Our Body · Non-Verbal Signs · Frustration & Trust · The Chicken or the Egg · Why It’s Stronger in CPTSD · Rewiring & Healing the Inner Critical Voice · It’s Not About Silencing

Welcome to Part 2 of The Negative Self-Talk Series. In Part 1, we explored some familiar ways we speak to ourselves harshly and how to address the more obvious inner critical voice.

Here, we’ll look at something subtler: the non-verbal inner critical voice. These are the more quiet signals that tell us we’re not good enough, not capable, or unworthy. They happen discreetly, beneath awareness, but their impact runs very deep.

Do you ever notice yourself sighing at yourself in frustration? What about the images in your head that you choose to run?
This is different from involuntary flashbacks. Here, we’re talking about the images the mind returns to when judging itself.

What makes this confusing is that none of these feel like “thoughts.” They often feel automatic, physical, or visual, which is why they’re easy to miss. You may not hear a clear sentence in your mind, but your system still receives the message: something is wrong with me. Over time, these small moments add up and can quietly keep the nervous system activated.

The inner critical voice also shows up through sounds, expressions and mental imagery. The body then mirrors the same non-verbal cues and the nervous system stays in distress.

Please remember: These aren’t predictions or truths. They’re the mind’s visual version of the same protective patterns your body is already holding. And it may not feel like it but it’s still trying to protect you the best it knows how: It’s “safer” to stay with what has been learned than to do something different. It’s also scared and just wants reassurance.

Below you’ll find some common ways these negative reflections get expressed:

These are the small, subtler ways your inner critical voice expresses itself. A quiet “I can’t,” or “I have to stay guarded.” They’re not random habits; they’re signals shaped by long-held stress and self-protection.

This is different from simple physical tiredness, non-trauma stress, or furrowing your brow while concentrating. Physical fatigue might come from lack of sleep or overwork. Mental fatigue, however, comes from carrying self-doubt, frustration, or the belief that nothing you do will make a difference.

Your expressions reflect the weight of your thoughts. It’s the physical echo of emotional exhaustion.

Here, we’re focusing on repeated habits that stay with you, not the occasional sigh or moment of overwhelm that you can acknowledge and redirect.

When you think about it, when you let out frequent “Ughs” or exasperated sighs at yourself, you’re basically telling yourself: “I can’t do this”, “The world sucks”, “I am powerless”, and you get more frustrated with yourself. The same with mental imagery.

When this happens, it can feel like the whole world is to blame. It’s unfair, unpredictable, and against you. But beneath that anger at the world often lie deep wounds and a lack of trust in yourself. A belief that you can’t handle what comes next.

The inner critical voice thrives here. It whispers, “You won’t manage this,” even when you’ve handled so much already. It’s common for everyone to have the occasional sigh or groan when we’re stressed.

But, it’s when it’s repeated often that it becomes habit and more entrenched. Each sigh, groan, or quiet “ugh” becomes part of that dialogue, reinforcing old patterns of fear and self-doubt.

You might wonder: am I judging myself because I feel frustrated, or do I feel frustrated because I’m judging myself? The truth is, both are true. The mind and body talk constantly.

It’s also natural to think, I feel this way because horrible things happened. And that’s true. But at some point, the body continues to stay in tension even though the event is now in the past, sometimes even far in the past. The body keeps replaying the old message long after the danger has passed.

The good news is that noticing is the first step toward breaking it.

For those living with complex trauma, the fight-or-flight system stays active. The body remains on alert even when there’s no immediate threat. This makes the inner critical voice louder and more persistent, because your system believes it’s protecting you.

In hypervigilance, the body and mind focus more sharply on potential harm or mistakes. This intense awareness can amplify every self-critical thought or physical signal. The inner critical voice becomes a way of “staying ready,” scanning for what might go wrong, and trying to prevent it before it happens.

But you can remind it that things are different now. That protection can shift into gentleness, awareness, and self-trust.

Healing this non-verbal pattern takes practice, especially in moments of calm. When there’s less duress, your nervous system is more open to learning new responses.

• “This is the non-verbal inner critic showing up.”
• “It’s doing this because that’s what it learned.”
• “This isn’t the truth, it’s an old survival pattern.”
• “My body is still trying to protect me the way it knows how.”

2. Redirect (Somatic Shift): These tiny shifts can help interrupt the loop. Make one small physical or sensory adjustment:

• Drop your shoulders slightly
• Release your jaw
• Soften your face
• Lengthen your exhale
• Sit a little straighter
• Uncurl your fingers or toes
• Imagine yourself sitting up straight
• Imagine yourself with a softer expression
• Engage in a soft smile in the mirror
• Imagine a future you helping you now
• Breathe: you’d be surprised how much you hold your breath
• Eyebrows up to open curiosity

Optional Support: Pair the shift with something simple:

• “I’m here.”
• “I’m learning to trust myself.”
• “It’s okay to soften.”

This adds a supportive tone without overwhelming the system.

3. Let Your System Resettle: You are not forcing anything here. You’re just gently allowing your system to recalibrate over time. There’s no need to rush and no pressure to feel “ok” right away. This is to learn new responses and help further calm the nervous system.

These pauses are easier to integrate when your system isn’t overwhelmed. Even brief daily practice can begin rewiring the nervous system toward safety and self-trust.

CPTSD Note: In CPTSD, especially earlier on, having moments of “calm” can be difficult. By calmer moments, I also mean practice during times when you are less activated. Practicing regulating techniques when not in total distress, can rewire and calm the system over time.

Each repetition teaches your body to replace old protection patterns with curiosity, compassion, and steadiness. Over time, this builds resilience one small moment at a time.

Healing the inner critical voice isn’t about silencing it or aiming for perfection. It’s about understanding its language, verbal and non-verbal, and responding with kindness.

Every small release of the shoulders, every deep breath, every moment of noticing counts. These micro-moments tell your body: It’s safe now. I can trust myself again.

Healing starts in moments like these, one step at a time.

Warmly,
Allie C. | CalmFire™

When you’re triggered, finding the right words can be hard.
I created a free Phrase Bank with specific phrases for safety, neutrality, compassion, belonging, and personal power. Use it as a gentle anchor back to the present.

Recommended Next: If you missed Part 1 you can find it here.
The Inner Critic Pt. 3: The Hidden Root, Anger in CPTSD & Why it Feels So Big
Recommended External Reading: If you’d like a bit more information on the inner critical voice check VeryWell Mind.

Note: I’m not a licensed professional. I’m sharing from my own healing journey and these are tools that have helped me personally. Please give yourself and others space and patience along the way. This blog is for support, not a substitute for professional care. If you are in crisis, call 911 or your local emergency number.

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