Jump to: Micro-Moments of Clarity · The Part of You Trauma Can’t Erase: Self Trust During Trauma · Trauma Gets it Backwards · Why Clarity Can Feel Unsafe at First · The Tool: Captures You Can Return To · Borrowing Logic When Feelings Aren’t Available · When Progress Feels Like it Disappears · Long-Term Rewiring · Final Thoughts

Earlier on, after my major breakdown, I was completely lost. I was almost constantly triggered and could barely function. One of the things I started doing was capturing evidence of my real self, both in “calmer” periods, and in complete moments of distress. And by calmer, I mean moments where I wasn’t in complete collapse or hyperactivation. 

If you know my story, you know I didn’t have many of these in the beginning.

However, I did notice that sometimes, even during extremely hard moments, there were these tiny flashes, which I now call micro-moments of clarity.

A micro-moment of clarity is a brief moment where the real self peeks through. These moments became the foundation of self trust during trauma for me. Not because they fixed everything all at once but because they reminded me that I was still here and that there was hope. 

The part of you that inherently wants to get better, and knows that you can. The part of you that, deep down, deeper than the trauma, knows that you’re capable and deserving.

They’re like what the name implies. Even when you’re lost, you have these tiny moments when something in you calls you to do something healing, and you just know it’s right.

Sometimes they only last a few seconds, sometimes longer. They can come and go. And at times, you can feel them slip away. I know that was my case. And that’s okay. You won’t always be able to hold onto them, but when you can, try to seize those moments. There are times you won’t want to either, and that’s still ok and part of the journey.

I truly believe there’s something innate within us that calls us toward wholeness, growth and healing, just like a physical wound is called to heal to restore balance. In real life, they’re often very simple and can look like this:

• A small thought that says: “You know this is the trauma talking. It will be okay, and this is true” (before the trauma kicks in to say, “No, all the good is fake. Nothing can work out.”)
• An impulse to connect: Wanting to reach out physically to someone next to you before shame, fear, and the urge to isolate creep back in.
• A physical urge: Your body telling you to stand up and move, or “do something,” before sinking back into collapse.

They can happen at any time even during emotional flashbacks, and you can use them. They can be vital and powerful. If we learn to catch them and lean on them, they can serve as a guiding light in the darkness of complex trauma.

Some of these micro-moments are clearer than others, and sometimes we’re more capable of seizing them than at other times. All of this is part of the journey. 

These moments aren’t random thoughts. This is the real you peeking through. This is the version of you that trauma is masking. The brave, self-confident version of you that knows you deserve good, love, and life. This is the truth. This is not the fake part. And, it is a patient part.

Learning to recognize and return to this part is what self trust during trauma looks like. Just the willingness to believe, even for a second, that this part of you is real. 

In complex trauma, we often get this completely backwards. The trauma version is louder and more painful and feels like absolute truth, but it isn’t. It can feel like you’ve finally seen reality for what it supposedly is: dangerous, hopeless, and dark. 

Meanwhile, calm moments feel like the lie. They can feel fake, as though you’re lying to yourself. Trauma causes emotional amnesia of safety. 

The pain feels too real. It feels unhealable. It can feel like you’re not trustworthy at your core. And it can be incredibly scary to believe that the good, strong, deserving part of you is real. It’s difficult to keep trying and feel like you’re failing, even though you’re not. 

When you do latch onto moments of clarity, though, something begins to build. Over time, you start rewiring your nervous system. 

You change patterns. You build self-resilience, self-esteem, and self trust. You begin shifting away from trying to fix the past in your head toward knowing you can handle yourself in the future. You start trusting yourself and the world just a bit more.

When you have CPTSD, your brain is wired to prioritize danger signals over safety and connection. It’s a survival mechanism. It’s still your body trying to protect you by squashing any element of hope in order to avoid loss or future hurt.

So when moments of clarity appear, your trauma brain can view them as a threat. They represent change, which even in a more regulated body, can feel stressful. 

Here, they also contradict the core messages you probably grew up with and the accompanying lack of self-confidence that was ingrained. In a way, it feels like your core is changing too. Staying scared and small can feel safer.

Recognizing this is a first step. You have to logically understand that, in this case, fear is the liar, even if you can’t feel that right now. 

There are two ways to work with these moments. Detailed process to follow.

1. Respond in the moment.
One way to work with these moments is to respond to them when they show up. More on the process in the next section.

If you feel a pull to reach out and hold your partner’s hand, that’s information. If your body is asking you to sit down or take a break, that’s information too. And if, at times, it’s asking you to move even in a small way, that can matter just as much.

These responses don’t need to be big or perfect. They’re small acts of listening. And even when they feel difficult or inconvenient, responding to them helps reinforce the signal underneath. 

Over time, this is one way trust begins to rebuild, even if only in brief moments.

2. Capture the moment to return to later.
Another way to work with these moments is to capture them, especially when acting on them isn’t possible.

You build a list: written, recorded as audio, drawn, of messages you send to yourself in those brief moments of clarity.

This can be incredibly powerful because only you truly know what you mean in the moment, both the good and the difficult. You relate to yourself the most. You’re also solving your own problems, finding your own way, and gradually building strength and trust in yourself.

In many ways, this practice creates a bridge for self trust during trauma: something you can lean on when your nervous system can’t access trust on its own. 

It’s incredibly powerful to develop your own ways of healing. With these captures, you’re being honest with yourself in the moment, and only you know what those words mean. 

This isn’t an affirmation or a quote. It’s a real message from you, directing you toward healing and wholeness. It’s going to bypass your logical self and go straight to your core where healing can begin.

Affirmations can be helpful too, but they still come from the outside. I know for me there were times when nothing else helped and I’d go back to that list. In my case, it lived on my phone. Sometimes they reached me when nothing else could. 

And, even when I couldn’t feel the truth of those messages right away I knew some part of me had once been able to.

Can’t find your own words yet? Start with mine. Building your own list takes time. If you need anchors right now while you learn to recognize your own micro-moments, borrow the neutral phrases in this free Phrase Bank.

You don’t need to force anything. Sometimes these moments will come, and sometimes they won’t. Just knowing about them and letting your brain process them unconsciously already helps.

What’s hard isn’t necessarily writing the notes. What’s hard is reading them when you’re triggered and putting faith in them.

When you’re in a flashback, some things on your list will really land. Sometimes, one line is enough to get grounded and find hope again. Other times, the same note may feel flatter or another one will work better. And that’s normal too. Different phrases land at different times.

Alternately, you may also look at your list and think:

• “But this pain is different”
• “This horrible pain right now is the truth.”
• “Hopelessness is the truth.”

This is the inversion. This is the “backwards” talking. It’s the trauma again.

Make a deal with yourself to hold onto your anchors. Remember there was a real time when you had these moments of clarity and you knew those to be true. You’re not trying to fix anything, just holding onto them, even if only logically, knowing that the difficult moments are phases as well. 

There is a kind of logical override. It’s hard, but it can steer you. You might still feel dissociated, hypervigilant, or helpless. But when you look at your note, you remember that you were better, that you had real clarity and realness. In that moment, you choose to trust that version of you over the trauma version. 

Even if you can’t always feel the truth of those messages, you know some part of you once did. You’re essentially borrowing the nervous system regulation of your past self to help your present self. You’re also investing in your future self now. 

These messages can be simple or deeply personal. They might not make sense to anyone else, and that’s part of the point. They’re for you.

Some of mine were:

• The anxiety you’re feeling is re-association with safety. Sometimes the anxiety is not something bad, just relearning.
• Remember that you felt better in this moment. This is real. Not the rest. And that you were fed up with fear more than the pain of the past.
• The real resentment comes from your childhood, not the people now.
• Teach your brain to encourage you, not defeat you.

You can also look at your list occasionally when you’re not in distress. Don’t try to feel anything. Just read it. If something lands, great. If it doesn’t, that’s okay too. Your brain is still processing it somewhere.

And sometimes, they really do hit home.

As you progress in your healing journey, you’ll also have more “normal moments,” not just micro-moments of clarity. For me, these would slip away too. But know that they also come back and it’s ok to let them come and go. That’s also why it’s so important to document the clearer moments and notice them: to draw the micro-moments into longer stretches. 

When you’re back in a trauma state, all the horrible stuff can feel real again, even though somewhere you know you were better. This can be incredibly hard. That’s why these messages help immensely, acting as a guide and anchor. It’s mind-boggling how, when you’re grounded, you can see so clearly that you were in trauma, yet still get lost in it again later.

Remember that there was a real time when you had clarity and you could see the trauma for what it was. Hold onto that as an anchor, even if only logically. If it’s sometimes too hard to do, then have another version of you handle that for you. 

This practice is about more than just surviving intense and visceral flashbacks. It’s about building new neural pathways by giving your brain new habits.

Every time you grasp a moment of clarity and write it down, you’re strengthening something new. Every time you trust the process, even a little, you weaken old trauma-based neural pathways.

You prove to yourself that you’re not helpless. You prove there’s a voice inside you that wants to thrive. It’s a patient voice, and sometimes it stays quiet. That’s okay. It’s still there.

When you listen to it and write down what it says (you can even read these notes aloud, since the brain processes spoken language differently), that voice starts coming through more often. Micro-moments stretch into longer and longer moments.

Eventually, as my journey progressed, I visited this list less and less. Sometimes it grew into mini-epiphanies I later journaled about. I believe now that those small epiphanies came from all of the internal work we engage in and the tiny moments you prime your brain with.

You don’t need to apply this all at once. Some of this may make sense now, and some of it later.

This is one way self trust can begin to rebuild during trauma. Other patterns, including how the inner critic shows up in less obvious ways, are explored in the series below when you’re ready.

Remember,  you don’t have to do anything perfectly or all the time. Learning self trust during trauma isn’t about getting it perfect. It’s about noticing and returning to that part underneath the trauma when you can. If you’re not ready, just knowing these moments exist is enough for now.

You’re not alone in this.

Warmly,
Allie C. | CalmFire™

If you’d like to learn more about trauma messages from the inner critic, check out the Inner Critic Series starting here. I also go into the deeper less obvious layers like the non-verbal layer, and the inner core messages we carry.

If you’d like to learn more about innate healing from Carl Rogers https://www.simplypsychology.org/humanistic.html

Note: I’m not a licensed professional. I’m sharing from my own healing journey and these are tools that have helped me personally. Please give yourself and others space and patience along the way. This blog is for support, not a substitute for professional care. If you are in crisis, call 911 or your local emergency number.

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